It just felt weird? The entire episode. Probably a little different. Maybe it even felt foreign. Sometimes trying too hard will actually just backfire.

Roti john made up for a dinner I guessed.

Talk about extreme weather. HOT HOT HOT. Today. A little too hot for liking. It makes me feel kinda, nau, from it. Oh well.

Watching documentary is fast becoming my habit these few nights. Tonight was no exception. Did you know that the life span of a mayfly ranges from 30min to 1 day only, depending on the species? And their sole purpose of existence is merely to reproduce, and perhaps food for the fish. Why? Because they are born without a mouth and stomach. All they had to rely on are the fats stored during the earlier phase of life before emerging an adult. Yeah I learnt about it from the show today. I like learning new interesting non-school related stuffs. :)

But doesn't it feel kind of sad that some species of life lived and die simply to live again? I mean in human context this is maybe irrational and meaningless? I don't know.

Anyway I lust a new laptop. And maybe along with it, several other items. Haha. What is new.

"The reason to live, is.. "

It feels good when someone unrelated actually remembers what I like. It feels kind of personal. Ok it had evolved from previously, but the point it.

Then again, it also indicates that I am probably visiting too often. Haha. Oh wells. It has become a harmful way of life. Haha.

I watched a show on Okto just now. It is about how different people believed that they are reincarnation of someone famous. Like today, there was a Merlin, Elvis, God of Time and Marilyn Monroe. Throughout the interview, they tried very best to pull it off, but personally I think, yes true to their individual diagnosis, They need psychological help. Well they do have individual experiences that somehow somewhat led to them being so disillusioned. Lost of love ones usually.

There was a part where the interviewer/commentator said that these illusions are probably created by them to help deal with continuing to live on.

I guess sometimes the things that we do, are for reminding us that we are very much alive.

Nights in Rodanthe proved to be what a night indeed. No short of action and suspense. To simply put it short.

The magnitude of the problem is simply "seven fifteen show" and "three O five show". How far can you go to make the two sound similar? Say it aloud if you want, go on, say aloud both quotations. I know I can't for sure. Seven fifteen will never be three O five? I am not quite sure about the lady's sense of hearing behind the counter though.

*Shrug* some things you never know till it hit you. Hard usually. Just like.

I realised, okay actually I knew, that I was unable to blog anything coherent if I attempt to multi-task. So I promise I won't tonight.

Rewind to Thursday night. Wet night. Wet. Very wet. Dampening wet. You get the point. Failed Holland Village resulted in somewhere else. McDonald's for dinner again, no surprise there I guess. Haha cheesecake from McCafe has a whole room for improvement. Probably should have gotten a slice from opposite instead. Oh wells, never know until we try certain things. Right? *Ponder about other stuffs..*

And I guess it feels good to have nice friends that you know you can depend on. Right? And I think the length of friendship isn't really the factor here. Like how I feel some of my army pals seem to outshine other friends that I have known much longer. And of course the others, you know who you are, *late night suppers and talks*, ought to ring a bell or two, right? No? Haha. You people are great. It further strengthens my stand of that it is better to have a few close true friends than an entire backyard of acquaintances.

Today was a rather lazy day. Got my work done earlier the day, before dinner that is. Headed out for a while to do what I do best. Nothing exciting actually. Save perhaps I was almost tempted to catch a movie? Alone? Haha. Oh wells. Oh! And maybe the discovery of a packet of Amos cookies that I left in one of my bag for probably coming to 2 weeks alr? Why thank you very much that it is still tastier than the ones from the supermarket. Getting my fingers all dirty typing and eating. No crumbs have landed for that aspect though. Will clean up my keyboard after this. Rather now. Since I am finishing this up. Right about now.

*I am probably not even what I thought?*

A wet day again.

So I decided to take a little break this afternoon. Went for a little walk around in the afternoon when it was all dark and gloomy. Rounded up with a usual dry yong tau foo for dinner. Instead of the train, I decided to take a long bus ride home. Part of the factor was probably my bag was damn heavy, yes laptop was inside. Even during the walk about I could feel the strain. Sigh. Coupled with the rush hour of knocking off, I decided to take the bus. Had a much higher chance of getting a seat. So I sat myself down on the last seat of the top deck as the bus made its way back to the interchange. Phone's battery was dying, as were the ipod, so I had to make do with ambience music then. From multi lingual conversations, to the flipping of newspaper, remix versions of ringtones, they kept me entertained throughout the entire journey. Not forgetting to mention the dark gloomy scenary as it past me by. The latter pretty much sum up my day, or probably the week. Oh wells.

On a side note, I bought 2 cans of tomato juice yesterday. Campbell's, 163ml, if anyone's interested. Not the usual juice, rather more of a concentrate. I like.

One of the songs that are currently on the repeat on my playlist now. Re-found this song the other night as I was sorting my music out. Nostalgic.
Probably due to copyright issue, I can't embed the song. So here's the song if any's interested.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzr_wOO-3OI


*It is probably snowing inside now..*

It was a rather wet day today. And you know about wet days. It makes me slightly less happy.

Been having this donut craving for a couple of days now, so I headed out to get me some comfort. I got 6, okay 7, but till now as I am typing this I ate a grand total of zero. Well done myself.

Headed to Sinema to catch a couple of screening tonight. Though not professionally done, but they are good nonetheless. Given the kind of support that they have. And some of them do convey messages to us. Like the family that has to deal with a possibly shotgun marriage? You know there is a problem somewhere when both parents bought the same present individually for the son without each other knowing. That screening got me thinking about a lot of things. Ah wells.

Dinner in the form McDonald's Grilled Chicken Foldover meal, upsized, changed the drink to ice Milo. Probably what got me into this mess that the donuts are untouched?

Took me an hour, I ate a donut.

Friday was a relatively lazy day. Nothing much was accomplished anyway. Had the urge to head to Carrefour though, at around 2030h. Haha. Didn't though. It wasn't logical I guess, besides it would have been too little time to shop proper. How I miss Wal-Mart, despite the criticisms. I have a soft spot for hypermarkets.

Went guitar shopping today, okay not really because by the time I was there the deal was signed and delivered already, almost. A fit of vanity took us keyboard shopping, though only 2 were guilty of it. A stroke of luck, or perhaps many, ranging from sold out to over priced to a single set left and lastly a display working unit for us to try, convinced us two that we should save it for a better deal. Was quite glad we didn't else it would have been easily the worst buy of the year. And thankful we didn't get for you. Razer seems to be sending out subliminal messages now though. Wells.

I guess it is time to sleep.

*A fit of jealousy?*

360

I can't seem to really remember things that are happening around me, or maybe things that are going to happen, or even happened. Hmm. Oh and it was a humid day today. Was not the best night for a run, but it was anyway. Slowly, I must get back into the routine.

Haha. Bobbi is here to as his parents are heading to Italy for their honeymoon.

Don't have much to say, probably am not in the mood?

*Except maybe I will hug my 2 bolsters, if that can give me any comfort... *

Recap, I went running again last night. Not as far as Monday, but something nonetheless.

Today was a long day. Had Manhattan Fish Market for dinner, though their standard seemed to have dropped. Hmm. Caught The High Cost Of Living after dinner. Interesting show that explore the very way we live our life? How different people, when making decisions at different timings, might just actually come around in a big circle and affect every person in a connected way.

Oh wells.


*Feel like it's time for book shopping again.. *

You know the old school ice cream that is widely sold on the streets of Orchard road? I always have this crazy idea of simply purchasing a drum of the ice cream that they are selling. Yes, those very big drum of ice cream that comes in the traditional flavours, and simply getting some people to finish it, share the love, share the sin.

Haha but well, too much of good is always bad. We know, you know, I know. Sometimes, a little bit of indulgence is simply being kind to ourselves. Coupled with the elements of the past, probably it is time we take a step back, instead of ever going forward.

I don't usually buy ham myself, but I gotten some for myself last night, specifically it was two slices. Might have been more expensive than the normal one, but sometimes, we really have to be nicer to ourselves, before we can think about others.

Seems that there are visitors after all.

Woke up, went to get some work done. Adjourned to a quiet place to read later in the evening, subconsciously perhaps I wanted to just have peace? Followed by a little bit of grocery shopping before I headed off? And guess what? Upon stepping home, I was back into the embrace of the lonesome night for a little run.

Any one of those three events today, is usually done when yours truly here want an escape of sorts? From things happening around me? Having the all the three happening tonight would seems like striking the jackpot? Probably not? Sometimes we don't really need reasons for some of the things we do. Or maybe, just maybe.

I what-if-ed some stuffs when I was running though. Thinking about the various alternatives. Which in the end led me to the question from last night, "We made the choices that brought us here, or simply here because of the choices we made?" I somehow believe that sometimes, the time wasn't then.

*Maybe I need to talk, maybe I don't...*

The counter read 3333 as I begin this..

We are here for the choices we made? Or are we here because of the choices we made? Your take, your call.

The wedding today was fantastic. Perfect. Felt so happy for them.

Lines were in place to govern things. Indicating the clear distinction between absolutely different regions. Regions that doesn't mix like oil and water. Many a time, the line is often grey, neither white nor black, never clear. That is when we are most tempted to thread that tad little too close and strayed into that zone. I guess I am not foreign to that place. Lines are there for a reason. We should never cross them. So for now, I know. I learnt it the hard way.

Alcohol in the system is not exactly the most ideal time to actually write. But perhaps it is a great time to think about more complex things. Things like. Things closer to the inside? Things which perhaps make me feel closer to being, real?

And when I said I was not intending to have a wedding, should I even have one, some probably thought I was half-hearted about it. But maybe I was serious about it. Why? Don't really want to talk about it here. But probably might share it with the correct people? We'll see.. Some things are just not meant for all. Free size is never free size.

*Maybe I just need a quiet place..*

Today was a mixed day? Nothing much to say. Headed out for dinner, came back and headed out again to surprise someone, some cow. Haha. Glad that everything was rather smooth sailing. :) Supper in the form of uncle Ronald.

As I was driving back, I saw the full moon. Partially hidden behind some clouds. There I was thinking this is perhaps as close as I was feeling then, maybe now. Something nice, something beautiful, something sweet, yet its full glory was never revealed to us, yet?

Something which is there, yet partially denied to us? Some things perhaps we have to just live with, or without? Bitter sweet maybe. Never entirely both. Maybe I chose to sit too much on the fence, openly, to even know how to appreciate? Perhaps I was never ready to allow anything in. Wells.

Starhub technician came and replaced the part in the wall socket. Ok for now. Seems like HDB was using something that Starhub wasn't? Hmm.

I don't know what else to say. Maybe of wasabi Fillet-o-Fish and wasabi shaker fries? And maybe perhaps wet hair late @ night, stationary stars mistook for moving aeroplane? Classic faces when the light was turned off @ midnight? Don't know laa..


*We have wished for everything we wanted in our dreams. But what if even our dreams deny us?*

An almost failed post this is. Simply because my internet screwed me up again? Got them to squeeze an appointment to come down later, despite being told Friday was the earliest. And they got back to me saying there are 2 to choose from later? Some things you just got to ask more for.

Headed back to school earlier today to settle some stuffs, then shopped a little @ PS before heading back home. Took a little nap before the internet issue surfaced. Starhub sucks. But Singtel? It is always the choice between the lesser of the two evil I guess. Oh wells. One of the things we have to live with in Singapore

And amazingly after the incident, I was connected again. Hmm. Oh wells, let see what the technician has to say later.

Today was a rather sun-less day, never rain though. So I headed out for a read. Finished up part of a, and a book. Not bad. The latter was an easy read, think those that doesn't require any brain power to process. Anyway I saw this interesting lady walking past as I looked up from my book once.

Walking past Giant, I was tempted to grocery shop, and I did. Almost treated myself kisses, but I don't think I deserve any. Oh wells.

So I headed out for a run upon arriving back home. A relaxing run, (given how nua I am, how not to relax?), late at night, I am missing these runs. And a good time to think about issues from the days. Didn't really got the solutions I was hoping, perhaps things will change?

*I was almost tempted to, but I didn't*

Today I saw this pair of parents who bought a Happy Meal set, complete with the box. Somehow it felt so long ago, this feeling.

Dinner @ Bakerzin was great. Also, the little quiet moment I spent with myself prior to that. Don't have to be alone, but need the correct crowd to be with. I heart. I need more of these.

350, 3300

Saturday was elections. Am not too familiar with every one of the nominee, but those that I have voted for all got in? Hmm. Oh wells. We'll see in the following year then. Sat in for the entire thingy and headed for dim sum supper after that. Was very hungry throughout though. Quite scared that there will be weird noises coming from you know where. And supper was great as usual, with the correct people. :))

Actually I was to blog about something, but I deleted the sms and I forgot about what it was. Hmm. Oh wells. Must have been thinking about too much things, too late at night.


*Hoping for some form of shopping, my type of shopping, my sort of things. *

Nothing much, takeaway of the day:
"the obscurity lies in the subtlety"
No comments, I view it a compliment. :)

*How do we want to be remembered is different from how we will be remembered. The former, our selfishness, while the latter is the judgment against us. *

It was a lazy day. Some coffee in the evening, and another book down. Some grocery shopping, and I got dinner finally.

In the form of Carl's Junior no less. Almost cleared the entire monster package.

There is something in the deserted and lonely environment during dinner that added to its allure. Mysterious, thought -provoking, and a wonderful place to just relax and write. Too bad I left my laptop in the car. A wonderful place really. I can visualise it now as I type. Table; deck chairs; huge umbrella; playground in the distance; ripples on the surface as the breeze gently stroked the water; the calm of the night; clouds overhead; moon partially hidden; a precursor to something brewing. Yet I am just there, basking under the night, waiting for time to past by me. Excellent for everything in the mind to run wild, and perhaps emotions too. Oh wells. Maybe it was not meant to be tonight.

It is certainly amazing how we are often attracted a new area that is not ours. At least I do. Something new, yet we are tied down in the familiar. The reluctance to move, inertia so as to speak scientifically, once we have settled in. But we yearn changes. Contradictory as usual.

*Something that was missing, came close tonight. I was almost, lost, and scared..*

Steamboat for dinner. Overdose of bean curd, meeting the recommended salt intake for the entire week with just a spoon of soup. Not forgetting to mention the seasoned button mushrooms at the end of the meal. Please don't be mistaken, tt was all in good fun. :) a very nice dinner indeed.

It has been a few years since I revisited the memories, looking at the photos. Kind of miss those days. I guess there were both positive and negative takeaways.


*Probably you are the closest to matching it, now. But I don't see how it is all possible. Maybe I was even bluffed by it. So, yeah I think I should. Dismissing the thought now will be the best result in the near future?All can wait*