A long time ago
Every week I will spend time at my other house talking to my grandma. Today was no difference. I popped by after my little swim in late afternoon. So my granny was sitting there in the sofa and I was opposite her. This must be the first time I really took a good look at her. Partly because it was damn hot and I was tired from the swim, so I sat very still in the couch looking at her. In that instance I realised how much she had aged. A lot.
Back in the past bringing up an entire crop of kids was by itself no mean feat, especially if the family wasn't that well off to start with. And my granny has been a smoker almost her entire adult life. She brought me up literally. I didn't have to be dropped off at a nanny's like my sister did. I didn't have to go pre school nursery like my sister did. This was because my granny was healthy then. She was actively mahjong-ing with my distant relatives. All it takes is a phone call and she's off. Coming back only late at night. Haha. Not forgetting getting her hair permed whenever she feels it is losing the shape.
I guess bringing up a troublesome kid wasn't the best job. The boy only ate congee type of porridge. Those fitted for the elderly because there was barely the grains to be seen. Also not to mention having to watch it from turning charred, imagine washing the pot after that. You have to scrub the stickiness off. Not forgetting that little brat needs to bring his own pot of food when he goes visit his maternal grandparent. Such a chore. Bleahs.
I had also the privilege to travel with her to many places. One on which was my first trip the US on May 28 1994. My first ever long haul trip. It was fun. Damn fun. Disney World for the first time, in fact the only time haha. Before I knew it, I was in secondary school already. I began spending lesser time with her and more with my friends. Before I knew it, she was sick.
Due to the long period of smoking, her lungs wasn't in the best of shape. Thank goodness it wasn't lung cancer. Stints in and out of SGH was a common occurrence back then in upper secondary. Free evenings will be spent in her ward with her. She told us she never imagined herself quit smoking. She did. It was actually after that entire episode that I first realised she aged. She changed.
I've grown up not needing her to cook for me and looking after me. I've drifted further apart from her. I know. I can feel it. Another stint with Glacoma in both eyes a few years back was worrying. So much have happened to her. She doesn't deserve all these. It is heart wrenching to see.
No longer does she goes for her mahjong sessions, she gets breathless easily now. No longer is she required to cook for the house, she is way past that age. She doesn't get her hair permed any more. She doesn't need to cook for that troublesome little boy.
So as I sat in the couch today(yesterday) realising how obvious the traces of time have become so visible on her delicate body. I doubt I have spoken dialect for so long today in a long time. It just made me realised how much I have neglected her. If a single word is sufficient for making up the lost time, then I will gladly say, "I'm sorry."
Took me a long time to organise my thoughts and get them into words. There was just so much to say. Well I guess we do tend to take things for granted.
Back in the past bringing up an entire crop of kids was by itself no mean feat, especially if the family wasn't that well off to start with. And my granny has been a smoker almost her entire adult life. She brought me up literally. I didn't have to be dropped off at a nanny's like my sister did. I didn't have to go pre school nursery like my sister did. This was because my granny was healthy then. She was actively mahjong-ing with my distant relatives. All it takes is a phone call and she's off. Coming back only late at night. Haha. Not forgetting getting her hair permed whenever she feels it is losing the shape.
I guess bringing up a troublesome kid wasn't the best job. The boy only ate congee type of porridge. Those fitted for the elderly because there was barely the grains to be seen. Also not to mention having to watch it from turning charred, imagine washing the pot after that. You have to scrub the stickiness off. Not forgetting that little brat needs to bring his own pot of food when he goes visit his maternal grandparent. Such a chore. Bleahs.
I had also the privilege to travel with her to many places. One on which was my first trip the US on May 28 1994. My first ever long haul trip. It was fun. Damn fun. Disney World for the first time, in fact the only time haha. Before I knew it, I was in secondary school already. I began spending lesser time with her and more with my friends. Before I knew it, she was sick.
Due to the long period of smoking, her lungs wasn't in the best of shape. Thank goodness it wasn't lung cancer. Stints in and out of SGH was a common occurrence back then in upper secondary. Free evenings will be spent in her ward with her. She told us she never imagined herself quit smoking. She did. It was actually after that entire episode that I first realised she aged. She changed.
I've grown up not needing her to cook for me and looking after me. I've drifted further apart from her. I know. I can feel it. Another stint with Glacoma in both eyes a few years back was worrying. So much have happened to her. She doesn't deserve all these. It is heart wrenching to see.
No longer does she goes for her mahjong sessions, she gets breathless easily now. No longer is she required to cook for the house, she is way past that age. She doesn't get her hair permed any more. She doesn't need to cook for that troublesome little boy.
So as I sat in the couch today(yesterday) realising how obvious the traces of time have become so visible on her delicate body. I doubt I have spoken dialect for so long today in a long time. It just made me realised how much I have neglected her. If a single word is sufficient for making up the lost time, then I will gladly say, "I'm sorry."
Took me a long time to organise my thoughts and get them into words. There was just so much to say. Well I guess we do tend to take things for granted.
posted by Danny at 03:02
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