In the end, no fuss, no fancy pictures, just words.
A little short of 2 months from 9 years of blogging here. From that first few posts back on December 18th 2005, till post number 1197 here, I had wanted to wind this down with post 1200. But heck I will wait no more.
Recounting the posts of these years, there have been positive, but mostly negativities.
I have grown and learnt from some events, and yet I have not in others.
I never quite fulfil the RWD title that I named this place. Always seemed to be held back by imagined heavy chains on me, and some mental wall that I never quite broken it down.
What exactly is holding me back?
When I retired the black book of intense negativity to its current place on the top of my cupboard, I never looked back at it once since then. So for this place here, I hope it will be the same. I will not delete this place. It holds a lot of stuff which I can look back at, and some which I cannot even recall writing about.
I may write somewhere else, I may not.
Perhaps one day I may revisit this again. One day when I met my destiny.
There are things that I should have done but never did.
Things I could have done but chose not to.
Things which I should not have done but carried out anyway.
Things that didn't have to happen but I let it.
I've hurt a few, disappointed some, and being unfair to others that had their presence here.
I'm not perfect, and the more I strived to be, the more I realised how flawed a person I am.
Looking back at the posts, randomly selecting some archives, I came across this quote that I posted. It reads: You can always retake your exams. But life, you only have 1 shot at it.
The higher powers are trying to tell me something here. So apt under current circumstances, and what I fool I am.
I started clearing up the deadwood in my life; by taking charge of my finance more closely and closed down inactive banking accounts; and just on Thursday my shoes gave way signalling it is time for a new change. Changes.
My life should have ended back in 2008. Yet it continued in limbo till now. If I'm fortunate enough to live till 60, half of it had gone by in the blink.
There are more important things to start doing. Now.