Tuesday, May 27, 2008

So what was your choice?

Newton's third law of motion states that for every action, where is an equal and opposite reaction.

I say that for every decision that we ever undertook, there is an underlying reason which govern it, despite whatever verbal reasoning we gave for it. Whether it was for the correct reason, or not, or something else, there is something which govern the way we do things sometimes.

Whether we know it consciously or not, I believe there is such factor. Choosing to face it is another issue altogether.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Are you feeling lucky today?

Lucky7 is perhaps a film which requires that little bit of brain juice to make certain segments to be understood. Perhaps Chew Tze Chuan was right in saying that looking at something differently from the main stream is an issue which will eventually get to you when others don't see the things in the same light as you. It can be pretty frustrating. I know. The part and parcel of life which is supposed to be what make life interesting. Crap.

First fast food meal in nearly 2 weeks @ the Singapore flyer after that. Followed by late night drinks, sans alcohol thank you, at one of my favourite places. The Chai tea latte which is said to taste like chicken soup but I thought otherwise. Once again the venti size mug was calling out to me. Watch out for any impulsive buy in the future I guess. You have been warned.

Sunday was one of those days which I didn't feel like doing anything except just to lie in bed and breathe. Haha. A very lazy day with nothing accomplished. Not surprising considering how much was running through my head moments before I dozed off in the wee hours. Tonight, should, be a better night, fingers, crossed.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Escapism

So I went to bed at about one plus just now. Somehow something kept me from drifting into sleep. So I woke up. The random issue that got me all awake was the issue of escapism.

Yes how often have we escaped from the things in life? From the small and trivial to the large and catastrophic, how often did we choose to run away from the issue; move it down the priority list to be dealt with; or simply just forgetting all away it? It is just one form or the other. Perhaps, just perhaps sometimes we felt that it is less cruel to simply run away than to face the issue at hand.

Actually this is not all that I want to say. The sister post is elsewhere. Sorry. Time to head back to bed.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Before you say anything, listen to the last song in the endless rain.

Sometimes I wished I had memories of all the significant events in my life that I was supposed to have memories of. Well I guess not having memories of them is in fact a memorable event in itself.

*recovering*

Sunday, May 18, 2008

When it refuses to go away

So I was sick for the entire week, never fully recovered to 100 percent. Nonetheless I managed to squeeze in a hectic and crazy and unforgettable day on Sat.

Come this morning, I woke up to a slight fever and a pair of slight aching calves. Made me feel old, don't know why. Haha. So slept in a bit hoping it will go away. Alas it was not meant to be. Headed down to 820 Thomson Road seeking professional help. Being through Sat, the wait wasn't that unbearable. There was comfy sofa and ESPN and air con, so I can't really file a complaint or something :P. I think my LTB head TA was there also. 2 queue number after me.

Coming home to a whole buncha pills and a solitary bottle of black liquid, I quickly took care of them and jumped right into the comfy nest call bed. Did not wake up till around 2120. Dinner was home cooked pasta with tomato sauce and sausages. Made the entire kitchen very oily though, bleahs :(.

Caught the news at 2200. In the opening 5 min of the segment, I cried. Our ancestor's land was hit by another aftershock of around 6.0. But what struck me was when they managed to rescue this old lady of 95 out from the wreckage after around 140 hours. The amazing thing given the physical injuries, she was otherwise in a healthy stable condition. There after, a dad dug out his young son also, aged 5 I think, alive. The last featured rescue was that of a girl accompanied by her beau. He kept her awake for around a hundred hours (if I recall correctly), never allowing her any chance of falling into an eternal slumber. And when she came free, reflex actions of true love simply took over. There was no hiding his tears and happiness when interviewed.

But that cannot be said for relatives and friends of the some 29000 corpses that was exhumed from the wreckage. With more to be found and the stench of the rotting bodies all round, it is amazing how people relied on a single most important factor, the factor that usually keeps all of us going. Something call HOPE. They will never give up until all have been found. Dead or alive that is.

Which brings me to another question here, remember the international outcry when Cyclone Nargis hit the Union of Myanmar? The outcry has not settle though, but have we ever thought about it in this perspective. Given the mess that China is in now, are we all psychologically ready to face the expose of another big scaled disaster? *a side note, if padi is not planted within the next 90 days in the Irrawaddy delta, the world will face a severe shortage of grains*

Do the developed nations have what it takes to step out of their comfort cocoon built by the developments of the 90's, driven by the endless thirst for cheap petroleum to fuel their huge economies, to actually really offer real help to these people? I think not at least when there are still black gold to be pumped from the ground that is.

Besides, natural disasters are nature way to dealing with an ever exploding human population. My five cents worth. Pardon the cynical approach taken here, must be the infection at work. Peace.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Kukup

And eventful trip to Kukup. A riding trip that is. Met at Kit Runners at ECP before heading back to school to spend the night. Rode out in the wee hours of Saturday morning to Kranji, crossed the Causeway using the motorcycle lane (1st time for me), and then headed out to Kukup. Was rain delayed at Serene Centre Macs for sometime though. Riding out, the weather wasn't too bad, sun wasn't too strong. Perhaps the speed was just a tad too slow. Aching back for someone who wasn't rode in a long time. Luckily there are nice guys to bitch with, haha, the usual suspects. And I was the 1st puncture casualty. :( damn suay.

Have no idea why I was feeling so shag, perhaps cause I was kinda ill to begin with. Mental strength took me to within the last 20km or so from Kukup. I can't ride anymore. Damn sian about it. Crashed after washing up at the guest house.


The guest house

Woke up to the last call for dinner.

It rained during the night. All that was outside was wet.

The packet of nasi lemak that is breakfast.

Was in the car with Chi-hao the next day as they rode out of Kukup. Photo whore of the day. Cam corder and camera that is. Before long, an incident struck. Ce-wei hit a back wheel and he crashed. An uncle riding past us on his motorbike told us about it. We rushed back and treated him. He can't continue and we had to load him onto the car. Fast forward a bit. Suji crashed also. Worst than Ce-wei. To think that he was almost ran over by a van(according to Mingwen), gosh. I guess we never pray the night before huh? There were some minor incidents along the way too, but nothing significant.

Suji is down, so I changed and took over cycling. I wasn't at 100%, but I know my limits, so I cycled. Journey back was fine, albeit a few punctures and stuff, we made it to the Causeway. Not before Chong's car's tire got stuck in a drain. The drain cover gave way when we drove onto it. Can you imagine how weak the cover is? The friendly neighbour up north, enough said. Haha. Cleared using the motorcycle lane again, but back in Singapore, we were directed to use the car lane! Woots! Clearing the car lane on a bicycle, 1st time, cheap thrill. Haha. After that rode home but realised that I had Ryan's valuables with me. So I made an extra trip down school. No choice.

All in all, the trip was eventful, mostly not in the good sense. Was damn lucky that nothing worst happened. Malaysian drivers are observed to be somewhat friendlier given that they bother to block the traffic and give way to us when we had to change lanes, and also offer their assistance when people crashed. In comparison, we where honked at the moment we rode in Singapore. Hmm?

Friday, May 09, 2008

Happy.Random.People.

It is always nice to see people feeling happy. I guess making people happy in a sense will make you a little happier? Sometimes seeing the smile forming on their faces will trigger a genuine response on your own canvas. A genuine one which crinkles the eye area as well. I guess it is a reflex yet not a reflex action?

Life often drops its own unexpected gifts that you pick up along the way, simply to bring that long forgotten smile and laughter to your life. With absolutely no intentions to objectify, but friends are one of those. Not just any friends, but those with matching frequency that you are really totally at ease talking to, opening up to.

Well perhaps the more amazing thing is sometimes, it is a surprise gift. Something unexpected. Someone who seemingly just appearing at the moment when you feel really jaded with everything else that is going on around you. Someone whom you never imagine talking to, your paths never crossed, yet it was 一见如故 (can't find a nicer word to replace this I guess, medicine and late night just doesn't go well together haha!). It just made the world seem a little less cruel I guess. At least it seems that there are people who still care. I don't know if you care, but I do I guess. I don't know if I am making sense here.

Anyway I read from a particular RED covered book that feature a chicken man (some of you will know that book), that we no longer smiling because we are happy. We are smiling now because we want to tell people we are happy. Notice the subtle difference? A little difference in phrasing actually meant something entirely different. And I guess its pretty easy to detect a make believe smile from a genuine one? It just takes a little heart I guess. Kind of sad when you think about it.

Sometimes we just need to put a little heart to into the little things we do to make everything a little bit more bearable for in this cruel and unforgiving world.

Life.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

I think I miss you. I think I really do.

P.s. You are not who you think you are. You are what you think you are.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

-random part 2

I have a sudden impulse to visit some weird places.

Singapore Flyer, cable car ride and Equinox Restaurant, all things high.

Singapore zoological gardens, Night Safari (I have not been there since its inception).

Sunday, May 04, 2008

Popeye

The hunt for the nice fried chicken ended yesterday at the foot of the Singapore Flyer. It is never recommended to eat fried chicken in the hot like yesterday, especially with the sun in your face. But the company and talk all but made up for it.

It definitely tasted better than KFC. The local KFC at least. Biscuit wise it was a tad salty. All in all I am glad to have finally tasted it. Haha! It has been a eventful search for it. It took us all over the weirdest places at the weirdest timing past some unfinished construction sites and even crossing a deep depression which we could have easily bypassed :( But I must say that trip was well worth it. Have not done something like that in a LONG time.....

Shopping for a present is and always will be an headache. It is in the season once a again, let the shopping frenzy begin.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

6 in 24

I am trying.
I guess I am.
I tried to let people in.
Or at least I am attempting.
This is something I'm never comfortable with.
I am trying to let you in, but are you letting people in?
Sometimes the signs are all simply mixed up and ambiguous.


A side note, I bought 6 books in a span of 24 hours. Adding to the family of unread books lying in the box. I will finish them before summer ends. I promise.





It is usually the last thing I do every night before I head to bed. The anticipation is what that keeps me coming back everyday, for it is something new every time. But also, it is the only thing available to me.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

A long time ago

Every week I will spend time at my other house talking to my grandma. Today was no difference. I popped by after my little swim in late afternoon. So my granny was sitting there in the sofa and I was opposite her. This must be the first time I really took a good look at her. Partly because it was damn hot and I was tired from the swim, so I sat very still in the couch looking at her. In that instance I realised how much she had aged. A lot.

Back in the past bringing up an entire crop of kids was by itself no mean feat, especially if the family wasn't that well off to start with. And my granny has been a smoker almost her entire adult life. She brought me up literally. I didn't have to be dropped off at a nanny's like my sister did. I didn't have to go pre school nursery like my sister did. This was because my granny was healthy then. She was actively mahjong-ing with my distant relatives. All it takes is a phone call and she's off. Coming back only late at night. Haha. Not forgetting getting her hair permed whenever she feels it is losing the shape.

I guess bringing up a troublesome kid wasn't the best job. The boy only ate congee type of porridge. Those fitted for the elderly because there was barely the grains to be seen. Also not to mention having to watch it from turning charred, imagine washing the pot after that. You have to scrub the stickiness off. Not forgetting that little brat needs to bring his own pot of food when he goes visit his maternal grandparent. Such a chore. Bleahs.

I had also the privilege to travel with her to many places. One on which was my first trip the US on May 28 1994. My first ever long haul trip. It was fun. Damn fun. Disney World for the first time, in fact the only time haha. Before I knew it, I was in secondary school already. I began spending lesser time with her and more with my friends. Before I knew it, she was sick.

Due to the long period of smoking, her lungs wasn't in the best of shape. Thank goodness it wasn't lung cancer. Stints in and out of SGH was a common occurrence back then in upper secondary. Free evenings will be spent in her ward with her. She told us she never imagined herself quit smoking. She did. It was actually after that entire episode that I first realised she aged. She changed.

I've grown up not needing her to cook for me and looking after me. I've drifted further apart from her. I know. I can feel it. Another stint with Glacoma in both eyes a few years back was worrying. So much have happened to her. She doesn't deserve all these. It is heart wrenching to see.

No longer does she goes for her mahjong sessions, she gets breathless easily now. No longer is she required to cook for the house, she is way past that age. She doesn't get her hair permed any more. She doesn't need to cook for that troublesome little boy.

So as I sat in the couch today(yesterday) realising how obvious the traces of time have become so visible on her delicate body. I doubt I have spoken dialect for so long today in a long time. It just made me realised how much I have neglected her. If a single word is sufficient for making up the lost time, then I will gladly say, "I'm sorry."


Took me a long time to organise my thoughts and get them into words. There was just so much to say. Well I guess we do tend to take things for granted.