New Year's Eve.

It is the 31st already. Will be 2006 in a couple of hours time. Well people, 2005 has past. Regardless whether its good or bad for you, pick yourself up and move on.

A new year beacons!

Happy New Year.

A Shell.

I feel so empty lately.

Since I am clearing leave, a lot of time on my hand, so I've been doing a lot of of self reflection. Asked myself for some of the things that have went wrong, and are going wrong now. Will try to do something about it, I hope.

I cannot say I have the most fortunate life, but nonetheless, life's hasn't been too bad to me. Save for the occasional hiccups. The things that I have been short-changed are somehow been compensated in others. Erm, hope u ppl can understand what nonsense I'm talking about la.

There is a 1997 Asian Economic Crisis, somewhere in my life now. Although I'm nonchalant about it, I am prepared for the worst. Honestly, before it even happened, the signs were obvious la, so I'm somehow prepared le. So, yeah, not going to interfere much... See how it end up lor. No worries for me k? I can cope. *I seriously hope*

Saw the doc today. Got medicine the cold that refused to go away. Feeling much better now.

It is already the 30th. 2005 draws to a close in just day. A new year awaits. Hope that 2006 will bring forth all the joy and happiness to make up for all the disappointing time in '05. (",)

*I smile all the time so that nobody knows how sad and lonely I really am.*

Waste Time. Expected la.

Well, as expected, going back camp today for the IMT prep for live firing is a complete waste of precious leave time. What to do? Army's f**ked up. Compounded by a stupid superior. A total piece of thrash. It is no wonder the things that are happening to him. Nvm. Will try not to bitch and moan.

Well, the LAN session after book out was fun. Though was kinda sick after playing Battlefield 2. Perhaps too long never play FPS le ba, so, yeah.. A bit headache. DotA is still nicer. The shouting and kping did not help at all. Kinda losing my voice le.

Anyway, Putin sucks. A dictator. Don't ask me why. :P

Shopping Day.

Went out wif Xin today hunting for a birthday gift for my friend. Walked around town not knowing what to buy. After we finally decided on an item, we asked for the size. But it was sold out. Nvm, we'll try other outlets. We decided to walk down the entire stretch of town to PS. All the outlets we went to, doesn't carry the size we wanted anymore. Last resort, we went to City Link and ended up at Suntec. Giving up, we got something else for him instead. Sad, very sad.

Dinner, then shopping at Isetan Scotts. Was a pte members-only sale. Didn't know there were so many Isetan members. Well, all I can say is that the sale was a good! The huge discounts for everything made the place looked more like a Pasar Malam. Everybody's shopping like the items were free. Very chaotic. Nonetheless, got myself a new pair of bottoms after some effort. Courtesy of my aunt. She's been real good. REAL GOOD. Thanks. Oh, meet my ex-classmate there as well.

Anyway, gotta book in tmr morning for IMT in prep for live firing. Sian lor, kena recall even on leave. Haiz. Suck it up lor. zzzzzzzzzzzzz

Food for thought.

A female friend asked me this a couple of days back, "Why are there seemingly an increase number of gay couples?" And gosh! I was tongue tied in answering her back. Well, perhaps they are losing confidence in a heterosexual relationship? Perhaps they feel that women can no longer give them the security and commitment that they seek in a relationship? Or simply perhaps they have entirely lost all confidence in the opposite sex? From what I know, gays are very committed to each other. So, erm.. I don't know man..

I simply have no answers. I have no gay friends whom I can turn to. So, yeah... If anyone can enlighten me on this matter, please do so. Thx.

Anyway, today's been boring for me. Slept in late. Stayed home. Playing game throughout the afternoon. Rained also. Weather was great for slping. Went for a run after the rain stopped at ard 1700+. Rained again after I got back and finished washing up. Had to hang my wet clothing indoor then. Rain has stopped now. Hope it doesn't rain coz my clothes are hanging outside.

Never liked the yr end weather. It is too wet. And unpredictable. Easy to fall ill also. Haiz, no choice but to endure it lor.

Random Thoughts.

The mask determines the side of you, that you are opening up to others. Everybody wears a mask in life. Except some may have multiple masks, each for a different occasion. In life, all of us has a role to play; be it the good, bad or the ugly. Everyone is an actor in his own right. Regardless of who you are, what your role is, how well are you performing, the show must go on.

There really is an art on how well you wear your masks. The mask that we wear is dependent on the role we play. The good son, the excellent student or even just the passer-by. There is so many roles in this theatre called Life. It is quite tiring actually. Sometimes, having a bad day in 1 of the role may manifest onto the next. This is where misunderstandings and conflicts come in.

The masks are also used for hiding our true feelings for others; seeking solace in life. Usually it is sadness and disappointment. So as not to affect the people close to us, we hide behind a false front. Smiling on the face, but tearing and bleeding in the heart. This feeling is terrible, but it is for the best. For the love of others, sometimes, we would rather bear the pain alone, than to draw others into our abyss.

Writing this, I am feeling lost actually. I do not know if the previous 3 paragraphs make any sense to you. I am just feeling tired about certain things in life. Things that I sometimes wished otherwise; different. Have you ever got so jaded of everything around you that you wished you can hit the restart button? Well...

Enough of senseless ranting. Tomorrow marks the 1st anniversary of the tsunami that devastated many parts of the Asian continent last year. It goes to show that the wrath of nature knows nothing about festive occasions such as Boxing Day. Life is so fragile.

Gosh, looking back as this post, that's a lot of sh*t I wrote. Well, they are just crap anyway.

Something to share before ending the night, "The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy"

Merry Christmas!

Juz got home from a chalet organised by my JC classmate. Actually told her that I'll not be going coz I was sick. Then, I recieved a call from another classmate asking if I'm going. God knows how I let her talked me into popping by. Yeah, so I went. Must commend them for a preparing so many things to keep us occupied. Really put in a lot of effort lor. Ya, thanks!

Slept till quite late today. Had a wonderful rest. Nonetheless, was feeling sick earlier the day. But, the illness kinda cleared up a bit. Thats why I went for the chalet.

People, it is Christmas as I'm blogging this. So, to all for 'ya out there, Merry Christmas!! Another year draws to a close, the countdown to 2006 is next week! This year seems to have gone by pretty fast for me. Perhaps the earlier of this year spent preparing for ATEC made time flies. And also Ex Flash Thunder in Thailand in May. Followed by the participation in the National Day Parade. Yeah, it is true that time flies when you are occupied.

The remaining months in service seem so short yet so long. Gotten my Student Id card from SMU le. Glad that the photo on it wasn't too ugly, lol. Can hardly wait to enter the new phase in my life.

"Santa, can you make time pass faster? I've been a good boy this year. *i hope :P*"

Mixed Feelings.

X'mas celebrations in camp was stupid. It was drag ass initially. But towards the end, we had a good laugh coz some of the commanders really was hilarious in their performance. I applaud them for being so game, *though the "king" was somehow unkind to us in his words.* Shall not go too deep into it. Believe me, he's #$%#$%@!.

Juz came home from dinner at my friend's place. Arrived only at ard 11pm? Coz I was held up in camp *read top*. Yup, anyway, dinner was great. Had a lot turkey, thanks to her. Really appreciative of that. Made up for being late in some interesting ways that u perhaps least expected of :P. Had an interesting chat after dinner/supper. Was kinda guilty for staying so long.

Am actually very tired now as I am blogging these. Falling sick also. Hate the year end weather. So erratic.

Well peeps, Christmas's in a few hours time, so, to u all, Merry Christmas!!!

Beginning of the End.

Alright, so I think I sounded a little too formal in my posts yeah? Alrighty, will change. Not a prob. Afterall, this' a blog right? Suppose to be fun n relaxing. :P

As I was saying, have been spending alot lately. Feeling broke. There are still so many things I want to buy! How? How? :| turning into a spendthrift le. Haiz.. Is Santa really out there somewhere? "Santa!!! I need you now".. *grinning*

Erm, do you feel that the temperature is scorching lately? Well, Earth is indeed getting warmer everyday. Global warming is something that we cannot choose to ignore and allow it to happen right before us. Melting ice caps, raising sea levels etc. It is so real. Yet, I feel that measures taken to curb the problem are not effective enough. Well, I hope I get to see the ice caps in their natural beauty before they are all melted. lol...

Yupz, gotta book in today. Am so looking forward to next week. Another period of block leave. But it is another week of outfield first. Very sian. And the Christmas celebration in camp on 23rd will be so darn draggy, and it ends so late!!! Why can't they just let us go off? zzzz...

Anyway, am always feeling very awful whenever I need to book in. Don't ask me why. It is already coming to the end of Dec le. Can see the date coming very close le. Well, just endure a bit more, and the new phase in my life will begin.. Soon.. Real soon...

Shopping day.

I went shopping today. Bought a toy for the Christmas gift exchange in camp. Not really for ourselves. But we are donating all the gifts collected for charity. Well, I guess the HQ want to share the Festive spirits with those less fortunate than us? (Or are they trying to reduce some bad karma?) Whatever it is, I hope the small gifts on our part can bring some joy to the kids. :P

I bought a book for myself, another for my friend. I got myself Morrie in his own Words. Sounds familar? Those of you that have read Tuesdays With Morrie will know who I am talking about, Professor Morrie Schwartz. Have not read the book yet. Recently, I'm not reading fast enough, will take some time to clear the outstanding books that i owed myself. Will review Morrie asap and post the comments here. Stay tuned!!

Alright, enough of my personal life. WTO meeting is causing a stir recently. With all due respect, I feel that no matter how good the trade deals are made, there cannot be enough room to cover everybody. There are bound to be some unlucky others that stand to gain nothing. The poorer nations should not be overlooked. With the all developed nations growing, its only beneficial for everybody that the gains made, are used to aid the poor. Afterall, the basic necessitites for our survival come from these developing nations where the cost of production is low. Trade restrictions are not without its pros and cons. No doubt careful considerations are required, but i hope a compromise can be soon, easing the tensions that at raising fast.

In order to gain, sometimes, you must take a step back. The US made a compromise over cotton tariffs. It is a small step, but no doubt the other organisations such as the EU, can draw some experience on this matter, bring some consolation over the apparent failure of the trade talks over the impasse of agriculture issues. Afterall, we all don't want to bite the hand that feed us, do we?

Ok, I shall not be too economical here. It is getting a bit dry, I know. Shall end here perhaps?

It was a disaster.

Only booked in to camp on Wednesday because I was clearing my leave for this year. We went to this nursing home opposite Sembawang Plaze on Thursday for my company's community involvment programme. Not that we need to clock those CIP hours, we are just lending a helping hand to those unfortunate elderly. The company outing we had on Friday. It was an utterly waste of both time and human resources. It was bad, and I will not elaborate farther. I hope that this is the first and the last time such disappointing event happening.

The papers today reported about an increasing number of new local unknown authors going to the extent of forking out money to get their books published. It is in the Straits Times, so I'll not go in depth because if you are really interested, go read the papers. It is more comprehensive. All I can say is that, risks are always involved, no matter what tasks you undertake. The stroke of luck that you need to make it big sometimes, may not always be present. So, I'll advise all of you, before you commit to anything, think through it carefully first ok? :P

The other issue that is hovering in town these days is AIDS. I'm sure that all you readers out there know that it is an incurable disease, thereby causing such a stir. Especially when the known cases of HIV-Positive carriers are on the rise. The actual figure is of course much higher than the official figure. Some people are still ignorant of the fact that they are carrying the deadly virus. The truth usually dawn upon them when they are down with the AIDS related illnesses. The main cause for this increasing is mainly thru unprotected homosexual and casual sex intercourse.

The Singaporean society is still a very conservative one. As compared to the Western Nations, the local society is still unable to accept homosexuality. Homosexuality is outlawed in Singapore. Why go against the natural way of life? Casual sex has been around ever since the dawn of prostitution. It is something that we cannot rid of, such as the existence of cockroach. The roots are long and deep. The only thing we can do now is probably try getting a clear message across to our fellow Singaporeans the serious repercussions that these 'leisure' activities have.

On a lighter note though, President Bush suffered a setback as his Patriot Act, designed to give law enforcers greater power since Sept 11 2001, has been denounced by the Senate of US. Good news to all the fans of the Democrats! Politics are such complicated matters. Governing the world is no easy job I must say. Especially if you are the so-called Most Powerful Man on Earth, it takes a great deal out of anybody to do the job well. Even the United Nations is not perfect. Nothing is perfect in this world. Flaws bring out the better of others that we will otherwise fail to notice.

I think this blog is too lengthy? Will try to improve.

"It's a Boy!!" *my virgin post*

After much consideration, I've finally decided to start blogging. Like a newborn, I need all the love and care(read: constructive comments) that you can give spare. So, don't place your hopes too high first.

This is not just an online diary whereby I'll dump in all the happenings in my daily life. I'll moderate the content, then share with you those incidents worth mentioning :).

The content of this blog may be a little dry at times, I seek your kind understanding regarding this matter. :P

Have a nice day, and happy reading..