Monday, March 31, 2008

The future?

I woke up from a nightmare today. And till now as I type, I can still remember some of the distinctive portions of it. It is quite amazing how we tend NOT to remember our dreams moments after waking up. Perhaps I should share some of the nightmare this morning.

“I was clearly all alone at home. And as sudden as it seems, the entire apartment started shaking violently. But I
realised that it was only just me on the house that is in the shake. It felt like an internal earthquake affecting only me. There I was hapless in my own apartment; it was disheartening to say the least. As if not contented with trapping me in an earthquake house, monsters were then introduced to join in the fun. Along with the appearance of these ‘friends’ are conventional weapons which I know how to operate. So I waged a one man war against these unknown begins, all in an unbalanced state. The only saving grace was when the sms came in this morning. It woke me up. No I didn’t jolt up to a body of cold sweat thank you, rather the waking up was normal.

There is a Chinese saying in which quoted that what you dream at night is simply what your mind desired in the day. And since dreams are supposedly outlets of stress when you rest your body, could this be telling me something? Something that exists in my subconscious is trying to tell me something, something which I have been suppressing for too long. Something which I have been trying to hide in the midst of all that is happening around me. It is perhaps time to pay the due. All that has a beginning should have an end soon.

In the afternoon, there was this middle aged couple selling ice cream on wheels this afternoon in the car park below my flat. I was just about heading out, so I went to get myself one. That old school type of ice cream which is scooped from the huge tub of many flavours. I ordered bread and to my amazement, the lady gave me six scoops! Never did I, in my memory, ever get six scoops in a single order before. The maximum was usually five. And mind you these six scoops were full scoops, not like how some who gave 5 incomplete scoops. Not that I am anal about such things, but I guess it says a lot about people.

Haha honestly I was really happy at that instant, the type of happy which I only felt when I was a kid. The type of pleasantly surprised kind of happy. It just goes to show how much we have been missing out since growing up.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

It is not supposed to make any sense..

Memory is the diary that we all carry about with us.



How often have we been caught in that moment in time, where we wished for nothing but that moment to last forever? The moment before the sunrise turn into a hot day; the moment before it goes pitch black at the beautiful sunset. Or even just any event special to you that you wish eternal for. How often have we experienced that. Only to resign ourselves to losing it in the end. But what kept us going is the thing that we know as Hope. For Hope makes all things bright. Sustaining it is another matter altogether, and that unfortunately, is the hardest to do.

"It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." I just can't bring myself to it, for I know deep within me, there is a streak of selfishness.

It is always a greater joy to give than to receive. I have always thought of receiving as a privilege, not an entitlement that we should look forward to. For receiving should be a pleasant surprise we must not take for granted.

When the morning begins I'll read the last line,
When the rain stops, I'll turn the page, the page of the first chapter



If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Wife vs Girlfriend *edited*

I was just talking about this topic with another friend a couple of nights ago on MSN. No offence to the ladies here but personally I have always felt that there are two distinct types of girls when it come to me.

The first being those that are of ‘girlfriend dating material’, while the latter is that of ‘wife material’. There is really a difference in the traits of those two if you ask me. So the questions that I post here are these:

  1. Which type of girl do you look for in a girlfriend initially?
  2. Will she transit from one category to another in your context?
  3. Or will you change your perspective of her just to accommodate her into your life?
  4. Is it possible for a girl to excel in both roles?
  5. Or it is a matter of a scale upon 100%, depending on how much resources the girl allocates to each aspect at different times?
  6. Do girls see guys in the same context as this

Of course, there is still the platonic relationship between the two gender. Which I really believes in. Though some people are very skeptical about how two people of the opposite gender can stay purely platonic in the long term. Oh well. Thanks for reminding me about it over MSN. :)

Comments and other insights are gladly welcome!

Use the comments link!



And my fingers are swollen from some don't know what reactions. :(

Sunday, March 23, 2008

,.'';

Hailing from entirely different backgrounds, we know that it is impossible.
Just like we were taught how two parallel lines will never meet each other.
But instead, we happened to meet and had an intersection. But that was it.
Though differences were supposed to complement, this is not the case.
Miracles never happen. You and I both know. If they do, it already did.
It hurts when we no longer believe.
So.
It is goodbye.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

IF *edited*

If only crying was easy, I would have cried.
If only life was about enjoyments, I would have no complaints.
If only growing up was easy, I would have grown up long ago.
If only being born was a joy, I would gladly be.
If only there was someone else who understands, I would have shared.
If only making you happy was easy, I would have no sadness.
If only you were in my shoes, I would see what you would have done.
If only fairy tales exists, I would be the prince.
If only there was a reset button, I would have spoilt it.
If only I was the author, I would have given it a different ending.
If only the person exists, I would have given her my all.
If only this journey was short, I would be at the destination already.
If only this journey was easy, I would have no qualms about doing it again.
If only all my if onlys are possible, I would not be me a long time ago.

I am so close to losing it.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

A little colour

Well since it is getting a little dull and boring and dark,
here's some colour. Not much though. Haha.



The old K800i that gave me loads of prob. :(




A little flowers at the florist.




Stadium Waterfront



Vivocity and Mt Faber





Random shots to top it off.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Mr Moon

在宇宙两端
日夜分隔我俩
沾上琴弦的思念
唱出对你的缱绻
你的心遗落在他乡
我托付月亮把孤单带上
万语千言都随月移圆缺

和你相聚的时光
总是那么的短暂
期待和你重逢
在异乡情路上
回到最初的地方
看你熟悉的脸庞
共月共听共盼
宁静的月光

长长的黑夜
寂寞陪我入睡
想念不停叠著想念
叠成一座山

Saturday, March 08, 2008

PotO on the repeat this night..

"recall those days
look back on all those times
think of the things we'll never do
there will never be a day when I won't think of you....

-----------

Where in the world
have you been hiding?
Really, you were perfect!

Angel of Music!
Guide and guardian!
Grant to me your glory!

Angel of Music!
Hide no longer!
Secret and strange angel

-----------

Flattering child you shall know me
see why in shadow I hide
look at your face in the mirror
I am there inside!

Angel of music guide and Guardian
grant to me your glory
Angel of Music hide no longer
come to me , strange angel

-----------

Those who have seen your face
draw back in fear...
I am the mask you wear... (It's me they hear... )

Your/my spirit and your/my voice,
in one combined:
the Phantom of the Opera
is there - inside your/my mind..

And in this labyrinth,
where night is blind,
the Phantom of the Opera
os there/here -
inside your/my mind... "

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Aloe Vera

Eating aloe vera late at night has a calming effect. Ok. That I am not too sure.

Besides, personally I prefer the processed ones. Without the raw aloe taste. Wonder how they do that. Gotta check that out.

Monday, March 03, 2008

It lived.

The moment when I pressed the ON button, and 5 second after you started spinning, you died on me.

WTF was the exact feeling then. Countless tries later, I gave up. Resigned to fate that it is time I sent you for treatment.

Coming home, I digged the drawer for your papers. Planning the schedule for the treatment session later. And just before turning in, I looked at you. There you are starring back at me. Mentally I heard the voice that I should not give up. So I gave you my final moment. You jumped at me like a child who hasn't seen his parent after a long absence.

Deep inside me I was relieved. For I know the time for another companion is not now. The apple got to wait.


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Every time I see the figure of the view counter changes, I often wonder who are the ones reading this blog. Many a time I was tempted to 'lock' this blog so I know who are the ones reading it. Then again it would not serve its purpose of this blog. Wells. In any case, I won't make any changes to it. Old timers just bear with me. Newcomers just feel free...

Sunday, March 02, 2008

(. - ..)(- - -)(...-)(.)

It is sweet, sour yet bitter at times.

What are you willing to do for it?

How far are you willing to go for it?

How much are you willing to give up for it?

Will you die for it?

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Leap year came and went

She did not appear at the Rasa Sayang Hotel, neither did I see her anywhere. I did not ask her the question, nor did I get her reply.

Enough of that.

-----------------


The stage which you lie before falling sick is pure torture. It is neither here nor there. Perhaps I am old for such 'draining' activity anymore. Haha. Inside joke. Wells.

Also I guess tonight must be the night of the most near misses. Especially along PIE. Blame everyone but myself as usual. But this time I know it is me. Haha. I wasn't really 100% mentally. Luck is on my side thankfully.

The bbq wasn't that bad, though the number of people present seems little. Actually it isn't that little when I counted, but perhaps.. Never mind.



Question of the day: Should girls in Singapore serve National Service like the boys?
Split decision on this one.