Thank you

I have this book which I dubbed the black book, how boring I know. however the content is anything but? It contains of some of the most haunting, dark and emotional thoughts, experiences or whatsoever over the years, circa 2007? I haven't written anything in it since February 2013, and it was rather sporadic prior. So it is a good thing, right? So just recently I took the book out while I was spring cleaning, and as I was reading some of the stuff , I cringed, in a very amused sense. LOL

Nobody had ever read what was written inside except for myself, maybe. On a fresh last page, I wrote this conclusion of sort, one in which I promised that I will never log another entry into the book ever again no matter how dire things may come my way in the future. It was a part of life that was long over. I even had the intention to dispose the book, but was convinced otherwise. So yeah, it will still stay with me but no longer will it open for operation. Haha.

Main takeaway from the black book, always be appreciative of the things you have and not agonise over what you don't. Don't compare. Be thankful, always.

2013 was a clear out year. Baggages, physical or otherwise; open chapters which should have been closed so long ago.

If you don't rid the clutter in your life, there will never be space for new stuff to come in. Things which you may stand to lose a great deal if you miss it. More often than not, everything becomes rosier the moment you let go. I would have missed a lot if I didn't, really. I'm glad I did. Thank you.

Thank you for schooling me.

The times whereby things didn't work out the way you envisioned them to? The expectations and promises that all came to naught in the end? Those days when we thought the world conspired against us? Incidents like these where another is one too many. 

Over time we strengthen our defense; the walls grew thicker and higher, and we may retreat so far that sometimes we got lost from it. It is our instinct for self preservation, to save us from the hurt and disappointments. Learning from it, by not having expectations is to avoid disappointments altogether. Anything else that came along may just be a bonus. I've operated on that basis and I know part of me still behaves this way, the occasional cynic appears still. 

The darkest hour is before dawn, but everything will turn out fine after that. It is about waiting for it, the sunrise that brings forth the new day. And good things come to people eventually. 

Ultimately it is about not losing hope; the fragility of the heart can only deal with that much disappointments before shattering. But never lose hope. When you lose hope, you lose everything.

That wild goose chase that led us to deserted places and ended in semi disappointment. But we made do and ended up satisfied nonetheless, hungry monster pacified.. Hahaaaa 

It is said that on full moon, weird things happen..

Like a papaya within a papaya. (Okay I cheated, the photo was taken 2 days prior. Haha)

Late at night when there are no souls around.. 

Trees

And a grove haunting trees

For that two minutes... I'm really in a bad shape... Haha..

50%

In the real world, nothing is always 50/50. That would have overly simplified many issues. But on another hand, it does make things easier when everything else seems complex. And sometimes grabbing your chance at a pseudo 50% success somewhat instilled a false sense of confidence, tricking your mind into believing that everything is a little better. No regret. I'm glad and I'm thankful.. Brave or lucky, you decide. :)

Was something that I saw yesterday. Randomly nostalgic; but at the end of the day all that really matters is the present, and the future. You decide..

Sometimes it takes a lot to believe, and develop trust. But how are we to know if we don't? It is a risk that we must be prepared to suffer. 

That lower left light hasn't been fixed, yet.

Some really mushy apple, which I'm not a fan of anyhow.

About colors, and running. 

And NO I didn't exactly wear this set... Haha

Shoe shopping led me to.. 

But in the end, 

Thanks for coming home with me

And sometimes by the time you see it, it might be too late. Caught in the rain + cold and hungry isn't fun, but.. :)  

Of the different weights that we placed on aspects of life, some more others lesser. But at the end of the day, it doesn't mean that we are any less interested or void of concern, it just meant that to me the factor didn't even feature as a concern to me that I lose sleep over it, in a good way of course. :)

And of the failure of calculated risks; one of which was my project submission back in secondary school days whereby my teacher 'one up-ed' me. Showed me that when calculated failures don't work out, the results are often double negatives. Haha. 

Since the last day of last year

This should have been done last year, or maybe earlier this. Nonetheless I'm glad I did. Sometimes rationality had to take a backseat. Life is too short for what ifs and regrets. That 50% chance that I always advocate, today I took it. Whatever that happens, next, it won't affect me that much anymore than not knowing at all. :)

人生不是等候暴风雨过去, 而是学习如何在雨中漫步

Penmanships

If there were some constants in life, this has gotta be one that bugged me since forever.. And you know what they say about your foundation years huh, penmanships, how I DON'T miss them at all. :P

The first day of 2014

had me jumping out of bed literally *facepalm moment*...

Brunch and movie with good company; a 满月 celebration; a slow relaxing jog in the night to kick start the year with, 2014 started on the right footing. Except for *ahem the hiccup earlier the day....LOL

Flashback 2013

Looking back.

Started the year with TL's 结婚三部曲. One whereby it led us to the most happening road trip so far. The drive up Malacca was anything but uneventful. Even before we set off from the car collection, the vehicle had already needed to pay a visit to the workshop. Talk about an ominous sign. Next up, the aircon didn't work for most part of the drive. Coming on in bouts of 5-10min, then requiring a lengthy 'recharge'. And on the drive back the car died on us after we had gone to the loo, no thanks to me being the one who initiated the pee break. Hahaa.. By a stroke of luck we made it back home. SGF5205D, we will not forget you. 

Followed up the eventful drive with a diving trip to Ao Nang, Krabi. It was the first I felt sick underwater, from going against the current. Like what I've logged, you know you're in trouble when local residents are stationary in the water, despite them already finning very hard. Indeed when in a different world, we play by their rules.

Night trail run left us caked and smelling of mud the entire day. Part I of why we pay to suffer.

River Safari didn't have the boat ride yet; and the lighting in the SEA aquarium was a tad too blue.

The big clean up at home prior to renovation. It was liberating to be finally thrashing some of the stuff, physical and emotional. Stuff which were long closed but left dangling simply because I didn't bother to thrash. Baggages.

The haze episode was apparently the most searched on the web this year. There were times whereby I thought I was driving in/to the twilight zone. 

The renovation episode made me feel like I was dealing with myself. One who asked too many whys, but himself reluctant to answer someone else's. I tried to be nice, I really did. But in the end, I didn't. Haha. That was when I made a mental note to refrain from asking why. If I can. But proving unsuccessful. Hahahahah.

Reinforced the notion that we shall not take common sense for granted, for the next person you meet might have none.

USA trip proved eventful. For both the right and wrong reasons. I was pretty disappointed that I didn't get to watch Phantom, either in Broadway or locally. Neither did I do any geeky visits to those awesome museums in DC. Are we looking at the 4th trip to the land of the free? Hah I think we are.

August, the end of the NS cycle following the most happening in camp reservist ever. Where the number of days we spent out in the field this time is equal to the sum of the previous 5 in camps combined. Somewhat poignant but knowing that IPPT will never haunt me ever again just brought the grin back onto my face. :J

Fair share of steamboats in August and September. Not forgetting the memorable blast we had during mid autumn. 啊。。 我很怕。。。

The 6 or 7 weddings that I attended this year. People either got married, or broke up after very long. That few I know of, after spending a good part of their youth together decided to cut their losses. Although it does seem disheartening, but I guess the consolation from that lies in you perhaps knowing better what is it that you're looking for really.

In an ideal universe, you'd be my soul mate.

Commando challenge was caked and smelling of mud, part 2. Why do we pay to suffer again? When we could have gone for dim sum instead. Ha.

A decade of friendship with the PTP gang. 10/12/2003

December was the month of randoms. Just when I thought the year couldn't get any more ordinary, it certainly didn't disappoint.The impromptu-ness and spontaneity injected a much welcomed burst of life into what would be an otherwise depressing December, as usual. The brunches and dinners, unplanned meet ups and the most last minute decision to catch a play, wild weather and all. It was an eventful month and it came when I was least expecting. But I can do with randomness. :D

Counted my blessing for all the people that appeared, old and new. I must have used up all the good that I've accumulated, for 2013. The year had been especially nice to me towards the end. I am thankful.

2014 can indeed be something different. I'm hopeful.


I was pretty torn between this or the all time fav of Always @ Wembley 1995. Here goes.